Best Friday 13th Full Moon Lesson From A Cat by Layla and Merlin
Cats never stop teaching us lessons even years after they die.
I woke up this morning not realizing it was the 13th of May or Friday the 13th but acutely aware of the full moon. The air felt thick and summer warm. It was time to open all the windows and shake out cobwebs of energy. The trees unfurled their leaves all week at warp speed and I felt drunk on their sweet smells.
You know how parents accidentally call one child by another child’s name? All week I’d been calling Odin, Mur Mur or Merlin. It can happen when a dead cat is trying to communicate but I thought nothing of it. With so much horrific news worldwide, I tried not to fall into a black hole.
I felt fully moon antsy wanting to make an Instagram reel and looked at a new tarot deck a publicist sent me months ago. Maybe a quick unboxing video? I’d walked past the Outsider Art tarot deck daily but something stopped me. It wasn’t normal procrastination. It just wasn’t time.
I opened the box and my phone camera and a few minutes later, boom, there it landed on Instagram.
Easy peasy. I finally understood my reluctance. The Art Brut style artwork reminded me the brilliant 1980s enfant terrible artist Basquiat. He died of a drug overdose far too young and while successful, it paled to his success after his death. His paintings go upwards of 40 million. During Basquiat’s most prolific period in New York, another artist was working in a similar style. I ended up marrying this man and on our honeymoon become enthralled with the unschooled, raw art of mental patients I’d seen at the Art Brut Museum in Switzerland.
Memories deeply buried can be chipped away and resurface. In this case, years after we divorced. All thanks to this tarot deck.
There are many forms of grief and the Japanese have a poetic range describing nuances of grief. Setsunai captures my mood. It’s a deep pain of wistful and bittersweet melancholy.
At this point I’m thinking of cats and the impending full moon eclipse and created a reel with me and Nou Nou. She has a new favorite spot under the lilac trees which are in heavenly bloom. See at Cat Wisdom 101 on Instagram
That felt cathartic but something still niggled in the back of my mind. A submerged beach ball of memory wanted to pop up. When I get a felt sense of like that I sit with the feeling until it expands. I’m not a fan of Facebook but hopped on to view memories, and there it was, the big aha. How could I have missed it!? A Facebook memory from 5 years ago, a year after he passed.
It was the first time I didn’t feel my heart spasm in pain. I remember that photo but six years later, it isn’t how I remember him now. His life has grown beyond the confines of the mortal coil to something softer and yet just as loving if not more.
Intuition works perfectly when we stop and listen. It can happen in a flash or not. Not just stop but patiently wait. I wasn’t feeling very patient this week but Merlin did not give up. He nudged until I remembered and sprang into action. Stubborn was his middle name.
So here we are 6 years to the day he died. It was a beautiful warm sunny day then as it is today. I’ve had different cats die in all four seasons and if I had to pick one, it would be May, my favorite month of the year. Merlin loved it too. Like me, he hated the cold and spent his happiest days lounging outdoors in various sun decks, porches and gardens of his very long life.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention his old buddy Domino. They were the ultimate odd couple: a Siamese of champion stock and a feral who lived outdoors on our porch for seven years. Their friendship progressed from their outdoor acquaintance to indoor snuggle buddies until Merlin died. We celebrate Domino’s birthday in May and this year. He was very bonded with my husband and no surprise, he’s made recent appearances in dreams and visitations.
I was not intending to to blog this week but Merlin had other plans for me.
It still astounds me how easy he made my grieving journey. I always thought there would be nothing more heartbreaking than losing my soulmate cat. Of course there were tears and anguish but it was clean. By that I mean clean from unresolved emotions. Any guilt or remorse quickly subsided to a deep understanding of the nature of death. Nothing that lives ever dies, it just changes form.
That message has made it comforting and less painful for other losses since. Merlin has visited me in many forms from birds to other cats, from dreams to clouds moving in the wind. He’s taught me how inter-connected we all are, and it’s not only him but all my cats and human family members that have passed.
Everyone is still here. We’re the ones who forget or can’t let go of wanting the form that was. It’s always painful to resist change but we always have a choice. Some will make wise choices this weekend and some will not.
Every full moon is the completion of a moon cycle. Think of it as a chance to have a clean sweep moving us through a death-rebirth process. This month it’s rare super blood moon and lunar eclipse in Scorpio. Yeah, it’s intense plus Mercury is retrograde but it will be easier to create change for healing if you make a conscious decision to let go. Let go of expectations, of judgment, of everything and anything that is not supporting your well being.
Merlin’s energy is strong and surrounding me with his usual no-no sense wisdom. He coaxed me outside where I wrote this breathing in the sweet fresh air, my bare feet luxuriating in a mossy carpet. Mmmm, thank you my stubborn boy!
I remember his blissful face turned towards the sun in true Zen peace. If I’m feeling triggered this weekend, I’ll follow his lead and detach, get grounded and not engage with anything or anyone that is adding fuel to the fire.
Allow Merlin to gently purr in your ear with his Siamese super-purrr. He would say…relax….your problems are temporary…it’s all temporary. There are sooooo many cats purrrrring for you right now. I love you…..
Sounds like a plan. If you have a better one, please leave your comment or suggestion. We’re all ears all the time.
I’ll leave you with a couple more nuggets of wisdom from Merlin. Like all Truth, they resonate equally then and now.
Layla & Merlin